The Beach Life

You wake up in Suraat Thani.
You wake up in Ko Phangan.
You wake up in Little Rock, Colorado.
You realise the last time you woke up you were dreaming, which throws your mind into a world of paradoxes; as you weren't aware it was a dream awakening - perhaps you are dreaming now?
You run around naked from the waste down screaming expletives at strangers.
A large Scottish man punches you in between the left and right eye.
You wake up in Ko Samui.
With alcoholism, nothing's real.

Yeah we're working our way around the islands of Thailand south coast in a haze of regret and shame, mixed with glory. Delicious glory. There's a certain peace here; I think it's the ocean - the unimaginable concept of this vast expanse from which all life sprung, impossibly old and yet new. Then again it may well be all the bikinis. Women everywhere, in underwear! I don't know what it is about sand and salt water that makes that ok but thank the lord it does.

This whole event has been tainted however by the untimely death of my laptop, which as it turns out was holding our friendship together. Without Charlie's films and my bizarre, ridiculously obscure pornography things are getting pretty fucking tense. You can hear the teeth grinding three islands across.

Anyway because of this tragedy I'm on internet cafe time and can't spin the kind of yarns you've become accustomed to, nonetheless here are my New Years Resolutions, all developed over the course of this trip:
. Begin more sentences with "well when I was travelling..." so I can be like all the other wanker backpackers
. Eradicate morning after shame by only getting totally plastered in foreign countries never to be visited again
. Tone it the fuck down, Fyans

Peace

Joe